The 3 Things They  Don’t Teach You About Ambition

The 3 Things They Don’t Teach You About Ambition

If your Ambition is primarily about material abundance, prestige and consumption, you’re hard-pressed to also be focusing on your evolutionary genius or Purpose. And yet it’s the GPS of our broader cultural story. “They” don’t tell us early on that following the yellow brick road of our culture doesn’t lead to happiness or meaning but DOES in fact lead to Oz, with all its illusions. Ambition itself is a dead-end street. You know how it goes. After enough time in a job you took to make more money or gain prestige or drive a nicer car or put your kids through college, you’re gonna feel the soul-crushing drudgery of meaningless work. Unless your street is oriented toward your own unique one-of-a-kind Purpose, what you’ll find at the end is the little man behind the curtain pulling strings. read more

Why Your Super Ego is not a Super Hero

Most Super Villains have hideouts. You remember the Nightclub Lounge, base operations for the Penguin, or the Ha-Ha-Hacienda, lair of the Joker, both arch-enemies of Batman. Or there was LexCorp, headquarters for Lex Luthor, nemesis of Superman. But even Batman hid out in his Batcave, and Superman occasionally escaped to the arctic Fortress of Solitude, the planet’s memorial to Krypton. read more

The Truth about Self-Loathing (and How to Cure It)

I’ve parented four teenagers, and am still in the process of raising two. One of whom just went to college, so my level of influence on her is quite limited, but there’s still the sense that I have some role in her life, even if mostly to support her in her own path. If I could be an octopus mother, I would. read more

How to Face Your Fears Without Needing a Flashlight

I learned, in my recent move across the country, that I have an obsession with flashlights. I counted twelve flashlights total once I unpacked everything on the California side of the move. A few were still in their packaging, and some had expired batteries. That’s a flashlight for every room of the house, including the bathrooms, plus the garage and car. read more

On Being Naked and Ready for the Leap

I’m taking a leap. It’s a leap of faith, basically, that my life will be as good as it is now on the other side of the leap. And I know it will, but it doesn’t mean it's been easy, or there hasn't been serious stretching involved. And here’s the leap. read more

How to End Difficult Conversations in Record Time

I have a colleague who practices the Japanese martial art aikido, and after many years of practice finally earned his black belt in his late 60’s. He attributes the delay in earning this distinction to the fact that it took him a long time to overcome the habit of wanting to resist his opponent. He discovered that when you resist your “attacker,” you restrict the energy you have available to fight your opponent. Life is like that. read more

Mastering Crucial Conversations As If Your Life Depended On It (Hint: It Does)

Do you ever find yourself trying to communicate with someone who isn’t hearing anything you say? Perhaps they talk over or interrupt you, or even worse, make you feel bad for saying what needs to be said. Or maybe you try to share something important, that really matters to you with a partner or coworker, and they ignore you or walk away. read more

How to Make Stressful Decisions without Taxing Your Brain

I’ve had to make some pretty tough decisions in my life. I remember deciding whether to take a job midway through my career. It offered better pay and more flexibility to handle my small children, but it wasn’t the work I dreamed of doing. It was a hard decision and I won’t forget the struggle associated with it. You’ve probably had a similar time in your life, where you were struggling with a big decision and feeling anxious or stressed about how to move forward. read more